Watch Your....

Madah yang menarik....
Watch your Thoughts because they will become your Words.

Watch your Words because they will become your Actions.

Wacth your Actions because they will become your Habits.

Watch your Habits because they will become your Character.

Watch your Character because that will become your Destiny

~ Matt Morris

"More Than Words"

Kata-kata yang kita gunakan mempengaruhi sikap dan emosi kita. Gunakan perkataan yang dinamik seperti
  • Awesome
  • Funtastic
  • Marvellous
  • Excellent
  • Well Done
  • Great
  • Hebat
  • Mantap
  • ?
Jauhi perkataan yang melemahkan semangat dan merendahkan diri, seperti
  • Alah
  • Siapalah aku
  • Dah nasib
  • Letih lah
  • ?

Optimus Prime :)

I AM
73%
OPTIMUS PRIME
Take the Transformers Quiz
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"Optimus Prime is the heroic leader of the Autobots. He is the personification of courage, strength, and integrity. His personal motto is that “Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.”

Like Optimus Prime, you are good by nature. But beware because mischievous thoughts sometimes tempt you. You are inspiring, confident, and a natural leader. The Autobots have chosen well. In addition, you enjoy being one step ahead of your friends as far as trends and technology."
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Guna Akal Yang Tuhan Anugerahkan

Menitik airmata saya melihat anak ini menangis tidak dapat mengambil sijil 5A UPSR, semata-mata kerana RM57!

Bodoh punya sekolah, tolonglah selesaikan masalah bukan tambah masalah. Pengarah Pelajaran punya alasan macam orang takde pelajaran! Mana pulak bantuan Baitulmal?

Anak miskin yang cemerlang dan yang ada cita2 besar, ko biarkan dan ko susahkan. Esok dah jadi bohsia baru ko nak bising.

Bodoh sangat ke kome ni semua.... Baitulmal, Sekolah, Pengarah Pelajaran?
Mohon maaf, lama tak menyumpah, panas betul hati!

Izzati gembira disalut kesedihan

NUR Izzati Azahar dipeluk erat oleh ibunya, Fatimah Ahmad yang sebak dan menitiskan air mata kegembiraan setelah mendapat tahu anaknya mendapat 5A dalam keputusan peperiksaan UPSR yang diumumkan di SK Tracisian, Ipoh, semalam.


IPOH 19 Nov. - Saat melihat namanya tertera di papan kenyataan sekolah sebagai salah seorang murid cemerlang yang mendapat 5A dalam Ujian Pencapaian Sekolah Rendah (UPSR) benar-benar menggembirakan Nur Izzati Azahar.
Namun, kegembiraannya hanya untuk sementara kerana kemiskinan yang membelenggu kehidupan keluarganya menghalang dia daripada menggenggam slip yang berada di depan mata itu seperti rakan-rakan lain.
Anak kepada pasangan pemandu lori dan pekerja kilang itu tidak dibenarkan oleh pihak sekolah untuk mengambil slip itu kerana gagal menjelaskan yuran berjumlah RM57.
"Walaupun tak dapat pegang slip keputusan, saya gembira kerana dapat buktikan kemiskinan bukan penghalang kejayaan," katanya sebak ketika ditemui di Sekolah Kebangsaan (SK) Tarcisian Convent di sini hari ini.
Nur Izzati, anak kedua kepada pasangan Azahar Ariffin, 41, dan Fatimah Ahmad, 42, adalah antara 34 murid SK Tarcisian Convent yang mendapat keputusan A dalam semua mata pelajaran.
Menurut ibunya, pendapatan keluarga yang tidak menentu menyebabkan Nur Izzati terpaksa 'berhutang' dengan pihak sekolah.
Menurut Fatimah, kesihatannya yang tidak mengizinkan dan sumber kewangan keluarga yang terhad menyebabkan dia tidak mampu menyediakan yuran peperiksaan Nur Izzati.
Malah, impiannya untuk melihat anaknya itu belajar di sekolah berasrama penuh juga mungkin tidak dapat ditunaikan kerana kedaifan keluarga mereka.
"Saya berharap sangat dia akan dapat menyambung pelajaran ke sekolah berasrama. Dia sendiri pun menyatakan keinginan itu tetapi kami tidak mampu untuk memenuhi kehendaknya," katanya.
Sementara itu, Nur Izzati yang bercita-cita menjadi doktor berhasrat melanjutkan pengajian ke peringkat paling tinggi bagi mengubah nasib keluarganya.
"Saya mahu mengubah nasib keluarga dan buktikan kepada semua bahawa saya juga boleh berjaya," katanya.
Sementara itu, Pengarah Pelajaran Negeri Perak, Mohd. Radzi Abd. Jabar berkata, kes pelajar lewat atau tidak menjelaskan yuran sekolah se hingga menyebabkan mereka tidak dapat mengambil slip keputusan pe periksaan bukan perkara baru.
Katanya, masalah tersebut biasanya berlaku kerana ibu bapa atau pelajar sendiri enggan berjumpa atau bekerjasama dengan pengurusan sekolah.
Kegagalan ibu bapa atau pelajar berbuat demikian katanya, menyebabkan pengurusan sekolah tidak mempunyai rekod yang dapat mem bantu pelajar dalam kategori kurang berkemampuan.
"Pihak sekolah pula perlu menjaga bukan seorang sahaja pelajarnya. Biasalah, bila hujung tahun ini, sekolah perlu mengemas kini rekod, jadi mesti ada yang menghadapi masalah ini jika mereka tidak berjumpa pihak pengurusan sekolah," katanya ketika dihubungi Utusan Malaysia di sini hari ini.

Man in the Mirror....

Michael Jackson: Wikipedia ** Google ** Youtube

Kenangan daripada Michael Jackson.... "Man in the Mirror"
Gotta make a change, For once in my life
It's gonna feel real good, Gonna make a difference
Gonna make it right

And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUrqFkR7QlI


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Arsene Wenger has great management style, beautiful football strategy and interesting quotes. Here are some of his quotes:

Our Favourite 60 Arsene Wenger Quotes


To commemorate the old boy's 60th birthday...
1) [Upon being asked what he does with his spare time] "I watch football."
2) "I tried to watch the Tottenham match on television in my hotel yesterday, but I fell asleep."
3) "When I first came to Arsenal, I realised the back four were all university graduates in the art of defending. As for Tony Adams, I consider him to be a doctor of defence. He is simply outstanding."
4) [On the qualities of Dennis Bergkamp] "Intelligence and class. Class is of course, most of the time linked to what you can do with the ball, but the intelligence makes you use the technique in an efficient way. It's like somebody who has a big vocabulary but he doesn't say intelligent words, and somebody who has a big vocabulary but he can talk intelligently, and that's what Dennis is all about. What he does, there's always a head and always a brain. And his technique allows him to do what he sees, and what he decides to do."
5) [After the Arsenal fans booed a 1-1 draw with Middlesbrough in November 1998] "If you eat caviar every day it's difficult to return to sausages."
6) "A company works best when everybody does the job he is paid to do."
7) "Sometimes now, when I watch continental games on television, I'm a bit bored. I'm thinking: 'Where is the intensity?'"
8) [In 2003] "It's not impossible. I know it will be difficult for us to go through the season unbeaten. But if we keep the right attitude it's possible we can do it."
9) [On Jose Mourinho after the then Chelsea boss accused him of being a voyeur] "He's out of order, disconnected with reality and disrespectful. When you give success to stupid people, it makes them more stupid sometimes and not more intelligent."
10) "A football team is like a beautiful woman. When you do not tell her, she forgets she is beautiful."
11) [In response to Sepp Blatter's accusation that big clubs were guilty of 'child slavery] "If you have a child who is a good musician, what is your first reaction? It is to put them into a good music school, not in an average one. So why should that not happen in football?"
12) [After the departure of Sol Campbell to Portsmouth] "It is a big surprise to me because he cancelled his contract to go abroad. Have you sold Portsmouth to a foreign country?"
13) "I believe the target of anything in life should be to do it so well that it becomes an art. When you read some books they are fantastic, the writer touches something in you that you know you would not have brought out of yourself. He makes you discover something interesting in your life. If you are living like an animal, what is the point of living? What makes daily life interesting is that we try to transform it to something that is close to art. And football is like that. When I watch Barcelona, it is art."
14) "When you represent a club it's about values and qualities, not about passports."
15) "If I go into a season and I say, 'For fu*k's sake, if we don't win anything, they will all leave,' I have already lost. The problem of the media is always to imagine the worst. The problem of the manager is always to imagine the best."
16) [After the success of the Great Britain team at the Olympics] "I didn't know the English were good at swimming. I have been in this country for 12 years and I haven't seen a swimming pool."
17) "The biggest things in life have been achieved by people who, at the start, we would have judged crazy. And yet if they had not had these crazy ideas the world would have been more stupid."
18) "There is no better psychological education than growing up in a pub when you are five or six because you meet all different people and hear how cruel they can be. You hear the way they talk to each other like saying 'You're a liar.' And from an early age you get a practical psychological education into the minds of people."
19) "I started at 33 as a manager and sometimes I felt I wouldn't survive. Physically I was sick."
20) "Politically, I am for efficiency. Economically first. Until the 1980s the world was divided into two, people were either communist or capitalist. The communist model does not work economically, we all realised that, but the capitalist model in the modern world also looks to be unsustainable. You cannot ignore individual interests, but I believe the world evolves slowly. The last 30 years have brought a minimum amount of money for everybody in the west, the next step, politically, would be a maximum amount of money earned by everybody."
21) "As long as no-one scored, it was always going to be close."
22) "If I asked you who was the best team in the world you would say Brazil. And do they play good football? Yes. Which club won everything last year? Barcelona. Good football. I am not against being pragmatic, because it is pragmatic to make a good pass, not a bad one. If I have the ball, what do I do with it? Could anybody argue that a bad solution like just kicking it away is pragmatic just because, sometimes, it works by accident?"
23) [In response to Sir Alex Ferguson's claim that he possessed the best team in the league despite Arsenal winning the title in 2002] "Everyone thinks they have the prettiest wife at home."
24) "Ferguson should calm down. Maybe it would have been better if he had put us against a wall and shot us."
25) "He [Ferguson] doesn't interest me and doesn't matter to me at all. I will never answer to any provocation from him any more."
26) [To journalists regarding Ferguson] "What I don't understand is that he does what he wants and you are all at his feet."
27) "Ferguson's out of order. He has lost all sense of reality. He is going out looking for a confrontation, then asking the person he is confronting to apologise. He's pushed the cork in a bit far this time."
28) [Upon being asked if he had received the apology that Sir Alex had announced he had sent to Wenger] "No. Perhaps he sent it by horse."
29) "I'm ready to take the blame for all the problems of English football if that is what he wants."
30) [After Jose Royes announced he wanted to leave Arsenal] "It's like you wanting to marry Miss World and she doesn't want you. I can try to help you but if she does not want to marry you what can I do?"
31) "Despite the global warming, England is still not warm enough for him."
32) "Gerard Houllier's thoughts on the matter [international football] echo mine. He thinks that what the national coaches are doing is like taking the car from his garage without even asking permission. They will then use the car for ten days and abandon it in a field without any petrol left in the tank. We then have to recover it, but it is broken down. Then a month later they will come to take your car again, and for good measure you're expected to be nice about it."
33) "Gerard is an open-minded and passionate man. I am the opposite: stubborn and stupid. But sometimes stupid behaviour makes you win."
34) "I do not think about the national team too much because footballistically it is not of too much interest."
35) [On losing the lead of the league in November 2004] "It's like a child who is used to having ice cream whenever he wants. When it doesn't come when he asks he tends to get confused and nervous."
36) "Any man who concentrates his energies totally on one passion is, by definition, someone who hurts the people close to him."
37) "We were considering him [Ruud van Nistelrooy] and Francis Jeffers and, in the end, we went for Jeffers."
38) "Maybe people will be surprised that I have signed an Englishman but I looked at his quality and not his passport. Francis is a 'fox in the box'."
39) [On Ruud van Nistelrooy in 2003] "He can only cheat."
40) "I think in England you eat too much sugar and meat and not enough vegetables."
41) "I lived for two years in Japan and it was the best diet I ever had. The whole way of life there is linked to health. Their diet is basically boiled vegetables, fish and rice. No fat, no sugar. You notice when you live there that there are no fat people."
42) "One of the things I discovered in Japan was from watching sumo wrestling. At the end you can never tell who has won the fight, and who has lost, because they do not show their emotion because it could embarrass the loser. It is unbelievable. That is why I try to teach my team politeness. It is only here in England that everybody pokes their tongue out when they win."
43) "What's really dreadful is the diet in Britain. The whole day you drink tea with milk and coffee with milk and cakes. If you had a fantasy world of what you shouldn't eat in sport, it's what you eat here."
44) "If you do not believe you can do it then you have no chance at all."
45) [On Arsenal's recruitment policy] "If I give you a good wine, you will see how it tastes and after you ask where it comes from."
46) "I don't kick dressing room doors or the cat or even football journalists."
47) "At some clubs success is accidental. At Arsenal it is compulsory."
48) "Nobody has enough talent to live on talent alone. Even when you have talent, a life without work goes nowhere."
49) "You have to be a masochist to be an international manager."
50) "For me, when you change more than three players in a team, you always take a technical risk because you change the deep structure of the team and the deep balance of the team, mentally and technically."
51) "We do not buy superstars. We make them."
52) "The real revelation of a player's character is not in his social life but in how he plays. In my social life I can hide my real personality."
53) [After Martin Taylor snapped Eduardo's leg in half] "The guy should never ever play football again."
54) [On how long Tomas Rosicky would be ruled out for at the start of his 18-month recuperation] "Days not weeks."
55) "I am in a job where you always look in front of you. Unfortunately, the older you get, the less distance there is in front of you."
56) "We try to go a different way that, for me, is respectable. Briefly, these are the basics. I thought: "We are building a stadium, so I will get young players in early so I do not find myself exposed on the transfer market without the money to compete with the others. I build a team, and we compensate by creating a style of play, by creating a culture at the club because the boy comes in at 16 or 17 and when they go out they have a supplement of soul, of love for the club, because they have been educated together. The people you meet at college from 16 to 20, often those are the relationships in life that keep going. That, I think, will give us strength that other clubs will not have."
57) "What motivates me is an ideal of thinking about how football should be. And to try to get near this way of playing. And to try to improve all aspects of my personality that can help me get near this ideal way of playing football."
58) [On Emmanuel Adebayor's stamp on Robin van Persie] "I watched it when I got home and it looked very bad. You ask 100 people, 99 will say it's very bad and the hundredth will be Mark Hughes."
59) "I did not see the incident."
60) "I do not like to make a fuss, it'll just be another day. I want to stay 59."
More Arsene Quotes, click here
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Spelling is Important?

The power of mind..... lets see if you can read this paragraph:

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rd anie g. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno ‘ t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt
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CEO Exchange

The "CEO Exchange" is series of lively interviews with CEOs of major corporations. They share insights about their business strategies, leadership styles and personality.

You can also learn a lot from the CEOs' different communication styles. Their body language, voice control, answering techniques, eye contact etc. Also can learn the do's and dont's when giving interviews especially on television! For example.... don't fidget, scratch your hair or touch your body parts!

The website has more information and snippets. Goto CEO Exchange.

There are also some samples on YouTube.

In Malaysia, you can watch this series on ASTRO Awani, Channel 501.
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Got this from my wife.....

Lovers of the English language might enjoy this. It is yet another example of why people learning English have trouble with the language. Learning the nuances of English makes it a difficult language. (But then, that's probably true of many languages.)
There is a two-letter word in English that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word,
and that word is 'UP.'
It is listed in the dictionary as being used as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].

It's easy to understand
UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come
UP ? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends and we use ! it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has a real special meaning. People stir
UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed
UP is special.
And this up is confusing:
A drain must be opened
UP because it is stopped UP.

We open
UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.We seem to be pretty mixed UPabout UP !

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of
UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions

If you are
UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding
UP . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on & on, but I'll wrap it
UP , for now ........my time is UP , so time to shut UP!

Oh...one more thing:
What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night?


U
P


Send this on to everyone you look
up in your address book.

Now I'll shut
up

Secrets of success in 8 words and 3 minutes

Why do people succeed? Is it because they're smart? Or are they just lucky?
Neither, according to analyst Richard St. John at TEDTalks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6bbMQXQ180&feature=related


The secrets of success in eight words are:
  1. Passion
  2. Work
  3. Good
  4. Focus
  5. Push
  6. Serve
  7. Ideas
  8. Persist
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Extraordinary Spokesman

Steve Jobs is an excellent communicator. The following is excerpt of an article which compile examples of his videos as an extraordinary spokesman:
Throughout his second tenure at Apple, Steve Jobs has been recognized as a master showman. Since his return in 1996, Jobs has turned Apple from a company near death and spiraling toward irrelevance to one with a booming PC business and some of the hottest gadgets on the market.

Any move that Apple makes today grabs attention, not only from techies like us but also the mainstream press. Without Jobs at the helm, it's quite possible that this wouldn't be the case. While Apple is not a one-man show, and many competent, capable people work for the company, Jobs has led the way.

And many product announcements have come out of Apple since he returned. Here are a few of the bigger ones, and what they've meant to Apple.
More on PCWorld.....

Eduardo after the ugly collision!

Eduardo is back playing for Arsenal after nearly a yearof rehabilitation. Lessons of grit, determination and power of mind. For articles on Eduardo, Google here. Read exclusive interview from DailyMail, click here
We can all remember the ugly scenes on February 23 last year. Eduardo was lying motionless, his body still in shock following the challenge by Birmingham defender Martin Taylor that left the striker with a broken left fibula and dislocated left ankle.

Eduardo said: 'At first I couldn't believe that this was happening to me. Then I thought, "No, this is how it is", so I resolved to try to do everything I could to come back as quickly as possible.'

When I was in hospital I realised I had to take this process step by step, so I started setting gradual goals. First of all it was to see how things were going day by day, so every day was a victory in that way.
'Then, as the injury was getting better, I started pushing every week to see how I was improving, and then it got to the point where it had been so long that I was taking things monthly until I actually got back to training.'
Nearly a year after his left leg buckled under the force of that thunderous challenge, the Arsenal striker is preparing to make his first-team comeback.

Big difference between local and overseas graduates

That's what Mr Ronin wrote in the Star newspaper. Is his generalisation true?
Other than revamping the education system, what interim solutions available?
Source: The Star online

I REFER to Ganesh Ramanathan’s letter ‘With a good command of English, we can do better’ (The Star, May 8).

The writer found it difficult to compete with overseas students due to lack of ability to express himself. He also stressed that presentation skills need to be given more importance. I concur with him on this matter.

I was a product of the Malaysian education system. Unlike Ganesh, I did my undergraduate studies in Malaysia. Upon graduation, I noticed a vast difference between local and overseas graduates.

The overseas graduates were more confident of themselves. They spoke well and could do public speaking with ease. They were not tongue-tied when speaking to higher management or people of higher stature. They were also good at doing research and project work.

The local graduates were the direct opposite. Why? From young, we were spoon-fed with answers and there was only one right answer to any question. Any other answer was wrong and those who answered “wrongly” were punished. That cultivate an attitude of fear of being wrong. And that fear still haunts many of us even when we have become adults.

In my days, students should not question the teachers. We were not encouraged to voice our opinions. Doing so was deemed to be rebellious. ‘Speak only when you are asked’ was the acceptable norm.

Education was all about passing the exams. And that meant reading the textbooks and doing all the homework given. We were not given projects, no research to do and no opportunity to do public speaking. I have lost touch with the education system but I hope that what happened were history. If not, then it is time we revamped the education system.

RONIN TAY, Cheras, Kuala Lumpur.

Secrets of Body Language

Satu dokumentari menarik di History Channel bertajuk "Secrets of Body Language" atau "Rahsia Gerak Badan".

~ Tonton dokumentari tersebut di YouTube Video 1 hingga 9

~ Maklumat tambahan Body Language dan Bahasa Badan

Video No 4 menunjukkan bagaimana bahasa badan mempengaruhi perasaan pembeli. Dan pada display minit ke 8.50, anda dapat melihat bagaimana bahasa badan Angelina Jolie menunjukkan beliau mempunyai perasaan mendalam pada Brad Pitt.... sebelum tersebar mereka ada affair.


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Communicate as Muslims

A calm, confident and convincing communicator has greater prospect to succeed in parenting, socialising, networking, working, discussing, dakwah etc. Muslims should communicate with manners, hikmah and techniques which reflect the beauty of Islam.

Good akhlak is the best dakwah! Some lessons to communicate as Muslims:

~ The Muslim Way of Speaking (HarunYahya)

~ Communication and Argument in the Quran (HarunYahya)

~ Some tips to help you communicate with your teens and others

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Real Leaders Ask Real Questions!

Soalan yang betul akan menyelesaikan masalah dengan betul :)
How to Ask Better Questions

One of your direct reports walks into your office looking for help: the rollout of the new line of Web-based products she is managing is falling behind schedule. All the prototypes have been created and beta tested, but she is having trouble getting final sign-off from the VP of IT. Deadlines have come and gone, and no amount of reminding or cajoling will get him to focus on her project.
As her manager, what should you do? If your first instinct is to suggest a solution, think again.
Although providing employees with answers to their problems often may be the most efficient way to get things done, the short-term gain is overshadowed by long-term costs. By taking the expedient route, you impede direct reports' development, cheat yourself of access to some potentially fresh and powerful ideas, and place an undue burden on your own shoulders. When faced with an employee's problem, you can respond in a much more value-adding way: by asking the right questions, help her find the best solution herself. We aren't talking about asking just any questions but, rather, employing questions that inspire people to think in new ways, expand their range of vision, and enable them to contribute more to the organization.
Questions packing this kind of punch are usually open-ended — they're not looking for a specific answer. Often beginning with "Why," "How," or "What do you think about...," they are questions that set the stage for subordinates to discover their own solutions, increasing their competence, their confidence, and their ownership of results.
Here is a framework for asking the right questions at the right time to create clarity and agreement around issues and to empower your direct reports.
Ask the right kind of questions
The word "empower" gets bandied about so much that one could be forgiven for overlooking what it actually means: to imbue someone with power, to instill in the individual a sense of his own strength and efficacy. "When the boss asks for a subordinate's ideas, he sends the message that they are good — perhaps better than his. The individual gains confidence and becomes more competent," says Michael J. Marquardt, a professor of human resources and international affairs at George Washington University (Washington, D.C.) and author of Leading with Questions: How Leaders Find the Right Solutions by Knowing What to Ask (John Wiley & Sons, 2005).
But an empowering question does more than convey respect for the person to whom it's posed. It actually encourages that person's development as a thinker and problem solver, thereby delivering both short-term and long-term value: the short-term value of generating a solution to the issue at hand and the long-term value of giving subordinates the tools to handle similar issues in the future independently.
A disempowering question, on the other hand, undercuts the confidence of the person to whom it's asked and sabotages her performance. Often, these types of questions focus on failure or betray that the questioner has an agenda.
The most effective and empowering questions create value in one or more of the following ways:
  1. They create clarity: "Can you explain more about this situation?"
  2. They construct better working relations: Instead of "Did you make your sales goal?" ask, "How have sales been going?"
  3. They help people think analytically and critically: "What are the consequences of going this route?"
  4. They inspire people to reflect and see things in fresh, unpredictable ways: "Why did this work?"
  5. They encourage breakthrough thinking: "Can that be done in any other way?"
  6. They challenge assumptions: "What do you think you will lose if you start sharing responsibility for the implementation process?"
  7. They create ownership of solutions: "Based on your experience, what do you suggest we do here?"
Create a culture that embraces questions
To foster a culture in which questions are widely used to create value, begin by letting direct reports know that you value their queries. "For example, tell them to bring their best questions into their performance appraisal," Marquardt says. These might be questions they posed in the past year that led to new ideas and solutions for the company or questions they would like to ask you during the review to boost their own effectiveness and that of the unit or team.
Just as important, it is up to you as the leader to model the question-asking approach so that your team, in turn, will employ it with their own reports. For example, you can track how well the team is working together by asking questions like:
  • We've been working together for three hours today; what did we do best as a team?
  • What enabled us to be successful in coming up with an innovative strategy?
  • How can we ask better questions?
  • How can we apply what we are learning to other parts of our work?
  • What leadership skills helped us succeed today?
What you get by asking
While going into your team or one-on-one meetings with a list of questions rather than points to be made takes some thoughtful planning, the payoff can be huge. Marquardt experienced this himself when he was executive director of the former Arlington, Va.–based World Center for Development and Training.
He asked each of his direct reports, "What one idea and/or strategy that we are not currently implementing do you believe would best contribute to the success of our company?" The responses this question generated were amazing, he says. "We came up with a marketing strategy that I had never considered before and added a couple of new services for our customers," including a short-term certificate program and courses that blended classroom and online learning. As a result of his query, the group also examined new markets in Eastern Europe and Southeast Asia and developed local partners in those regions. And because these were their ideas, Marquardt's direct reports were committed to putting them into action. "They accepted responsibility in designing, marketing, and implementing the new programs," he says.
By leading your team meetings with questions, you will also help eliminate ambiguity and create alignment around issues. "Most groups are not aligned when they come together," Marquardt says. "When a leader goes into a group and states a problem, everyone assumes that they understand the problem in the same way. In reality, that is false." If, for example, a product isn't selling, you may assume that it's because of a flawed marketing program. But what if others think it's a flawed product? You won't learn that without asking, "What do you think the issue is?" Without consensus on the problem, you can't define a strategy to address it. Asking such questions enables team members to understand one another's perspectives and agree on what they are dealing with.
What not to ask
Marquardt points out that, contrary to the business truism "There are no bad questions," several types of questions can have a negative effect on subordinates.
Questions focused on why a person did not or cannot succeed force subordinates to take a defensive or reactive stance and strip them of their power. Such questions shut down opportunities for success and do not allow people to clarify misunderstandings or achieve goals. These questions include:
  • Why are you behind schedule?
  • What's the problem with this project?
  • Who isn't keeping up?
  • Don't you know any better than that?
Leading questions seek a specific answer, one that puts the person being asked the question in a negative light, pushes through the questioner's agenda, or exerts social pressure to force agreement. Among their many downsides, leading questions such as the following inhibit direct reports from answering candidly and stifle honest discussion:
  • You wanted to do it by yourself, didn't you?
  • Don't you agree that John is the problem here?
  • Everyone else on the team thinks John is the problem. What about you?
While closed questions, which require specific answers, can be a good way to open and close a conversation, a whole string of them in a row, such as the following, will make subordinates feel they are being interrogated:
  • Is this a good time to talk?
  • What time is the meeting?
  • How many people are coming?
  • Who else will be there?
  • When will the report be ready?
Their success is your success
As you strive to lead by asking rather than telling, remember that leaders are only as successful as the people who report to them. By asking your direct reports the right questions, you can help them develop their ability to solve problems, their creativity, and their resourcefulness. Not only will their greater strength in these areas reflect well on you, but it also will enable them to better help you and the whole unit when fresh challenges arise.
"You don't have to have the answer to ask a great question," says Marquardt. "A great question will ultimately get an answer."
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Tanya Soalan!

Tanya soalan, dengar dan ulang..... dengan perasaan empati.

My wife Eleanor and I used to live in a small house in Princeton, New Jersey. One night we returned home to find a car parked in our single space driveway with no owner in sight. We were tired and had nowhere nearby to legally park our car. So we had the car towed, parked our car in its place, and went to sleep.
The next morning there was a loud knock on the door. Eleanor was the first to answer. She immediately regretted it. It was our next-door neighbor, we'll call her Leslie, and she was mad. As soon as she saw Eleanor she burst forth with a barrage of angry words and accusations. I was in the back of the house and could hear her clearly.
It turns out the mystery car we had towed belonged to her son. Eleanor, usually calm and collected, began to defend herself against the bombardment of accusations, which only made Leslie angrier and louder. So they went at it, both arguing their points.
Meanwhile, I had a brief moment to consider the best way to rescue Eleanor. I had to diffuse Leslie's anger, otherwise we'd never get anywhere. The only way to do that was to give Leslie the experience of being heard. Once she felt we understood her point of view and appreciated how angry she was, she'd calm down. Then we could talk.
I decided to do three things that, together, communicate listening:
  1. Ask questions. I would ask open ended, exploratory questions. Who, what, when, where, how, why, etc. Questions that would clarify what she was saying and feeling. Questions that would help me unpack the situation from her perspective. I would stay away from leading questions and statements that pretended to be questions but wouldn't fool anyone, like "You don't actually believe that, do you?"
  2. Actually listen. I would shut up and hear what she had to say. And I would avoid thinking about anything except what she was saying. I would also try to hear what she wasn't saying but was implying, the desires, fears, and assumptions that were behind what she was saying.
  3. Repeat and summarize. I would recap what I heard, trying to use the same words she did. I would also summarize what I heard and check with her to see if I understood her correctly. If she told me I didn't get it, I wouldn't ask her to repeat herself because, well, she would and I'd hear the whole thing over again. What I really wanted to know is what I got wrong. So I'd ask her what I missed. Once she told me, I'd repeat that part again and ask her if I got it right this time.
Most importantly, I wouldn't bother to defend our decision until her anger was diffused. And I picked a sign for myself: once she took a deep breath and relaxed her shoulders, I'd make my point.
I felt as ready as I was going to be. My adrenaline was pumping as I walked to the doorway where they were standing yelling at each other. "Leslie," I broke in, "Hi. You're obviously really angry about something." She saw a new victim and pounced. "Angry doesn't even begin to describe it . . ." I listened. I asked questions. I repeated and summarized. Eventually, I felt like I really understood why she was so angry.
After about 15 minutes I said, " So your son only visits once in a blue moon and you really want him to have a good experience when he's with you. And then the people who you think are your good neighbors have his car towed. One more reason for him not to come home."
"Yeah, that's right," she said, a little more softly. And then . . . nothing. She was silent. She had nothing left to say. I had understood the depth of her reaction. Her emotional transaction was complete. She felt heard.
At that point I had enough space in the conversation to tell her we were sorry. That because her son came so rarely we didn't recognize his car. And since he didn't leave a note on it, we had no way of knowing it was his. It was late — too late to go knocking on everyone's doors just to see if the car might belong to them — and we needed to park. It was the best decision we could make at the time. Still, we were sorry to have towed her son's car.
She softened more and thanked us for understanding. She suggested that she let us know when her son came home. And then she left . . . smiling.
The only reason I was effective in that situation is because I had a minute to think. But while I'm a big believer in pausing before responding, it's hard to do in the blur of an attack. If I had answered the door instead of Eleanor, I would have reacted even more defensively than she had.
When people learn a martial art, they practice the same move endlessly until it becomes automatic and available when they are ambushed. I realized that day that I needed the conversational equivalent. So I resolved to make a change. I created my new knee-jerk reaction: Ask a question.
Whenever I'm surprised and I don't know what to say, I now ask a question. Even if that question is: "Can you tell me more?" That gets the other person talking and in a difficult conversation, it's always useful to let the other person go first. It reduces their defensiveness, you might learn something that could change your perspective or at least help you frame your perspective so they could hear it, and you'll provide an example of good listening they might just follow.
That night we heard a knock on our door and we both jumped. "Your turn," Eleanor said. It was Leslie again. She asked if we wanted to grab a bite to eat.
Startled by her gesture, I responded instinctively, "What did you have in mind?"

SCAMPER

Use SCAMPER to generate new ideas or to enhance existing products/services:
S = Simplify, Substitute

C = Combine

A = Adapt, Alter

M = Magnify, Minify, Modify

P = Put to other uses

E = Eliminate

R = Reverse, Rearrange
For examples and more details, goto these websites or more websites.


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Six Thinking Hats

The Six Thinking Hats technique from Edward De Bono is still useful today for individual and for a group. Its applicable in meetings, problem solving, new ideas and more.


For more info, goto these
~ websites
~ or diagrams
~ or video1 and video2






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Sleep well, for tomorrow begins tonight

I wish I received this kind of advice when I was younger...

Star Online, Soo Ewe Jin
HAVE you been sleeping well of late? Are you all stressed out over the KLCI and every other world market from New York to Sydney? Do you worry that our economy will shrink even further? Or that the A(H1N1) will mutate into something more terrible?
Dr David White, the chief medical officer at Philips Home Healthcare Solutions, will probably tell you not to lose too much sleep over matters you cannot control.
“People lose sleep either because they cannot sleep (insomnia) or because they are not setting aside enough time for sleep – both of which can happen because of work-related stress in the current economic environment,” he said.
Although the scope of his study did not encompass Malaysians, I am sure the trend would be similar, more so if you add in the political dimension and the fact that good football matches are always telecast live in the early hours.
The Philips study, however, is focused on the workplace. Conducted in five countries around the globe, it showed that 40% of those questioned blame the state of the world economy as the major reason for their lack of sleep.
The survey was undertaken in March and covered 2,500 managers – equally split across Britain, Germany, the United States, Japan and The Netherlands – using an online poll. (For the survey, goto Sleep deprivation: a health hazard yet to be taken seriously)
The Americans worry the most, and the Dutch the least.
In response to the question, “Do you believe the worsening economic climate is affecting your ability to sleep well?”, just 15% of Dutch respondents agreed while the global average was 39%. The Americans were highest at 30%.
The Dutch are also less concerned about world events (1% compared with the average 3%), stress at work (12% against 22%) and money worries (5% versus 13%).
Maybe the windmills and the tulips have something to do with this.
A vast majority of respondents (61%) say they have had their work impacted negatively by lack of sleep. On average, each estimated 6.2 days per year were impacted by inadequate sleep – costing companies around the globe millions.
And here is the irony: Because they cannot sleep well, 70% said that their work suffered as a result.
So you get the drift? You cannot sleep because you are stressed at work, and you cannot work because you have not had enough sleep.
Sounds like a vicious cycle to me.
“Sleep is not optional – it is absolutely critical to people’s health,” said White. “The consequences of not sleeping enough are well documented. People who do not get enough sleep can gain weight, are prone to diabetes, high blood pressure and even heart attacks. We are facing a serious healthcare problem if we do not take sleep more seriously.”
Wow. No wonder his study was taken so seriously and was featured in many newspapers throughout the world last week.
A doctor friend challenged us the other day with this question: Do you rest for the day’s work or do you rest after a hard day’s work?
He explained that the situation is not similar. If you think that you are all zonked out after a hard day’s work and therefore need to sleep, you have got it all wrong.
Rest, he argued, is to prepare our body for the day ahead. If you think that way, you will be less stressed out.
Or, as a tagline for a famous brand of mattress puts it, “Sleep well, for tomorrow begins tonight!”
Deputy executive editor Soo Ewe Jin feels the key to a good night’s sleep is not counting sheep but counting our blessings, one by one.

My "BUT Problems"

My resolution for 2009 is to overcome my "BUT Problems" namely:

No more BUT
I resolve to delete the word BUT (@ "TAPI" in Malay) from my dictionary. I will not start my sentences with the word BUT. I will stop saying "Yes But". I will change my thinking process and my speaking rate to avoid the word BUT.

Get off my BUTT
I resolve to better use my time for tasks which create value. I will reduce my time potatoeing infront of television. I will stop reading political blogs. I will avoid poisonous people. Will be 44 years old in 2009, the remaining time must be spend purposefully for dunia akhirat.
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Men's brain and Women's brain

The brain of men and women are wired differently. This does not mean one is better than the other. It simply means diversity in God's creations.

Understanding the differences will help men and women communicate better with each other (especially between spouses)! And also to maximise the potential value which can come from that diversity.

This video is a hilarious yet informative way of understanding the differences between men's brain and women's brain....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuMZ73mT5zM

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Thinkertoys

In Year 2001, each of SKALI Team members was given a copy of the book "Thinkertoys: A Handbook of Business Creativity" by Michael Michalko (www.creativethinking.net)

It is a must have book for all business employees, managers and owners!

Below is list of techniques detailed and illustrated in Thinkertoys,
http://www.mycoted.com/Thinkertoys


Linear Thinkertoys
  • False Faces
  • Slice and Dice
  • Cherry Split
  • Think Bubbles
  • SCAMPER
  • Tug of War
  • Idea Box
  • Idea Grid
  • The Toothache
  • Tree Phoenix
  • The Great Transpacific Airline
  • Future Fruit
  • Brutethink
  • Hall of Fame
  • Circle of Opportunity
  • Ideatoons
  • Clever Trevor
Intuitive Thinkertoys
  • Chilling Out
  • Blue Roses
  • The Three B's
  • Rattlesnakes and Roses
  • Stone Soup
  • Color Bath
  • Dreamscape
  • Da Vinci's Technique
  • Dali's Technique
  • Not Kansas
  • The Shadow
  • The Book of the Dead
Group Thinkertoys
  • Brainstorming
  • Rice Storm